I know I have been a very neglectful blogger but I’m going to blame it on it being a hard few months especially the last one. It all started with my dog pushing me down my stairs.
I knew at the time when I spotted the dog toy sitting at the top of the stairs with my big german shepherd mix laying there next to it and the thought popped into my head, it was a bad one. Giving no heed to this intuitive thought, I went ahead and picked up the toy and threw it down the stairs. Instantly Ocoee was up and after the damn thing and he wasn’t going to let something as small and unimportant as ME get in his way. He bulldozed through me sending me at least 2 stairs down before I caught myself on the hand rail. I yelled at him for being such a dope when really I know it was my fault for throwing it down the stairs and standing in between him and the direction the toy went… anyway I went on my way back up the stairs in towards my original destination not thinking twice about the event that just occurred, and certainly the impact it would have on my summer.
Two days after this incident, my back suddenly became VERY painful. I waited another day to try to let it settle. It didn’t. I ended up going to the local ER for an x-ray and maybe a script for some pain meds. Seeing how my dad works in that hospital and in the radiology department we all thought it would be a quick in and out. It wasn’t. I ended up getting an x-ray as well as the pain meds but when asked if I wanted to stay the night just in case it got worse seeing how all the meds I’m on normally slows healing processes significantly, I agreed to stay the night. The night and the next day went on without incident. All the while I was trying to let my Shands doctors know that I was admitted in a different hospital other than Shands for pain. Well by the time the doctors were correctly contacted and informed, I had sprung a fever! It shot up very high very quickly. Sent all the local doctors in a twirl as they have not ever treated a lung transplant patient and were very nervous to try anything with me until they talked to my transplant team. Four days into the admission we finally got the plan together that we would have me discharged that Tuesday because on that Wednesday, I already had an appointment scheduled for Shands. We thought I would get discharged and if my team saw me the next day they would be able to determine if being admitted at Shands was necessary. Of course they thought I needed to be admitted. I was extremely worried I wasn’t going to be able to go on vacation with my family the next week. We had planned this awesome get away to Anna Maria Island with some scallop fishing planned… I didn’t make it. Just add it to the list of things Iv had to miss out on because I was sick… oy. I at least got to eat some of the scallops they caught when I got home (it’s really only food that matters in this life anyway right?)!
This whole time I had been taking dilaudid for pain since I got to my local hospital not thinking to much of it other than it really helped with my pain issues. I continued with the pain medicine for another 2 weeks using it up to 5 times a day once again not really thinking much of it other than it made me feel better… unbeknownst to me, my body had slowly become addicted to the stuff. To be fair, my doctors were telling me that I was pushing it and they did try to ease me off of it treating me like an adult to make the right decision on my own to stop taking it. When I didn’t, they decided to take me off of it completely. The next week and a half were crazy awful. I went through a little mini withdraw experiencing extreme pain, fevers, and finally depression. thank god it only lasted for about 2 weeks, I’m not sure how much longer of that I could have taken. It wasn’t just the physical issues that got to me… the mental anguish I went through was some tough shit! I had anxiety attacks daily that would bring me to an unruly state, no one could get me out of. I was screaming and crying scared out of my mind that I was going to die though nothing was physically wrong with me. After testing out oxycottin for long-lasting pain relief I experienced the worst trip of my life. I was on the phone with my mother for hours trying to calm down when she finally came up I had used some organic oils a good friend of mine let me use for things like this that actually calmed me down. Having mom there helped to bring me all the way back. I had a few more bouts of serious anxiety she helped me through with the aid of the oils even after being sent home.
I was home for exactly ONE week to the day before I started to have another fever and the long reaching claws of Shands grabbed a hold of me and pulled me back. Here I am now quickly recapping my month from hell. This hospitalization has weighed heavily on me. The most difficult I think both physically and mental I have yet endured. I must say though I have had so much love and support coming from all over its almost overwhelming. It really helped me through the roughest and toughest times in here to see all the support I have. I just want to once again thank all of you and let you know how much I love you all and how much each and every single prayer, positive thoughts, light vibes or whatever really means to me.
Bless you all!
sry if these posts are a bit rough, its 2 am and I’ve been in the hospital for over a month now lol give me a break.